Call me.

Well, that was interesting.  Your use of expletives was spectacular.  I’m impressed.  Really.  I’m envious even.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been cursed in a more eloquent manner.  Sadly, it was wasted breath.

This is the Customer Service department.  I am a Customer Service professional.  I am here to help.  However, you are not a customer.  When you called me a dick, you crossed the line from customer to cunt.  And since you’re no longer a customer, I’m no longer a professional.  So shut your fucking mouth, you cheap, inbred, sack of shit.

It’s a common misconception.  You think because I’m in Customer Service I’ll put up with your shit.  Fuck you.  You’re an idiot.  I don’t care about you.  I don’t care about your bullshit problem.  Were it possible to reach through this phone, I’d stitch your lips together.  Seriously.  I hope your tits fall off, you self-absorbed bitch.

I didn’t become a Customer Service professional out of some overwhelming desire to help people.  I’m here because I’m a slacker with little ambition.  I make shit money and work with morons.  I have two breaks a day, have a two-pack habit, and your piss poor grammar is giving me indigestion.  So shut up, hang up, and find someone that gives a fuck.

Never call me again.  Have a nice fucking day.

About the Author: Jon Carter Jackson

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